somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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