everyone is single if you try hard enough
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
