What did we do last night that was yellow?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
