I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
