i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
