If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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