he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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