I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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