I want to stick my p in your. b.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
