he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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