i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
