Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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