Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
