so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
