we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
