Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
