I think my fart just growled at me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
