tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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