If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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