I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
