whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
