you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
