My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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