ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
