"it" just moved
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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