Well douche your snatch and let's go!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
