Soap is not a condiment
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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