Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
