I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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