How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
