I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am available for nakedness
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
