dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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