one might say we're banned from that church
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
