She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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