I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
