he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
