she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
