At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
