But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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