I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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