He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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