i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
