Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
