I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
