Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize