Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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