the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize