She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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