Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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