you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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