oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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