my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
