and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
