She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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