you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
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Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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