She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
