She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
