I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
