thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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