Pants 0. Shit 1.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize