awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
