I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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