Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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