My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
