how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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