Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
