remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
zippers are such a cool invention
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
